I made it to the gym this morning. I haven't been going lately do to lack of sleep. I have found that if I make myself go even if I don't get to bed on time my immune system shuts down and if anyone near me is sick I will catch it.
I feel like I want to focus, really focus on being active this week. It most likely is the climbing gym's fault. We shall see if I drag my butt out the door tomorrow morning.
I ate pretty good so far today. But when I got home I was starving and when that happens I tend to secretly binge. Of course that's not a secret now since Randy knows I started blogging. I decided I would have a South Beach Diet Bar (2 pts) and an orange. I normally wait for my daughter to get home from school to have snack time but I was very very hungry. So I am sure you know what happened. Yes that's right, I ate 2 trader Joe cookies (3 pts). I know this is not bad but it could have been. I stopped myself before I could eat more, so I had my orange and no SB bar.
I have a hard time journaling. I tend to tell myself I will write it later but then I don't. That always turns out bad because I will snack to many times. I have learned I am a secret closet binge eater (kinda). I say kinda because it normally doesn't effect my weight by large amounts and I don't eat till I feel sick. What I do do is this:
Grab gold fish crackers. About half a handful. Eat them.
Decide that's not what I wanted.
Find something sweet, a cookie or SF pudding or a granola bar.
Um, still not quite right. Maybe a small bowl of cereal w/ soy milk.
This can go on for a bit till I realize what I am doing and find something else to keep me busy. I realize why I am doing this, there are 2 reasons:
B. I am missing something important during the day (food wise)
So here is what my day to day at work food plan looks like:
6am: English muffin or oatmeal (2-3pts)
9am Fruit cup (1pt)
10am Carrots and celery (0pts) w/ ff dressing (2pts)
12pm 3 slices of turkey lunch meat, string cheese, soup (3-4pts)
2-3pm depends on whats going. If I am being good I will eat just one item of food (3-4pts)
5-6pm Dinner. Usually chicken and veggies for me (5-6pts). And if I feel I have been good SF pudding (1pt).
Now I am sure this might look like an OK day but its not normal because I will sneak food, food I don't want people watching me eat. It might be all in my mind but if i sit down with something sweet (even if its low in pts/calories) and Randy is near by I feel like he is thinking "why is she eating that? Does she not care about getting fat, I thought she was trying to loose weight".
Yes, I know I have issues.
Today was different. I have my blog. So I am blogging instead of eating and it is making me have to stop and think "why am I doing this"? So WHY am I trying to binge this time? I feel hungry, can you believe that? LOL I feel hungry. No stress, no sadness or loneliness, just hungry. Did my orange satisfy me? Um that's a negative but I am sure a cup of tea will help.That is what I am going to go do.
Sit back, drink a cup of tea and read come blogs.